During Andrew's adoption, I said that I trusted God to work it all out but I didn't. I worried and stressed and questioned just about everything. When I saw how everything worked out and the amazing things that happened on that journey, I realized that God was in control of the entire thing and all my worrying did absolutely nothing to help the situation anyway. This time around, it is much easier to trust because I already know what's possible. That's not really the definition of trust but you have to start somewhere.
At the beginning of this adoption, even before it started, my prayer was that God would show me what I needed to do, when I needed to push people to get things done, and when I needed to wait. My wonderful friend, Kelly, had also been praying for me and God used her to show me exactly when I should start. (He knew that I value her expertise in adoption and would listen to her sooner than just about anyone else). There have already been so many signs that this adoption is going exactly as it should be. For that reason, and because I promised to trust Him, I felt that I was supposed to take whatever referral was offered to me. (I had the option of waiting for a younger child). When I saw his picture, I knew he was my son and there was no way I could have said no. There is a small part of me, though, that wanted an infant. I loved carrying Andrew in the sling and giving him a bottle at nap time and bed time. I was feeling a tiny bit apprehensive about not being able to share that with Bear so I went back to look at some of Andrew's pictures from when he was 14 months. He was SO little. It helped me so much to remember how dependent he still was on me and how small he still was. In the long run, I am going to love having the two of them so close in age and I know it will be great for them to have each other. I know I'll miss many firsts with Bear but there are so many more to come and I can't wait to experience them with him.
A family using my agency is in Ethiopia right now picking up their daughter. They have promised to get new pictures of Bear and to find out how big he really is. :)
Until I am able to show you the pictures of my beautiful new son, I've decided to post some pictures of Andrew at the age that Bear is now. (14 mos was when Andrew first said, Dad-dad....his name for Grandad).