Tom Petty sings that "Waiting is the hardest part", but he's wrong. 'Not knowing' is the hardest part. Tomorrow will be two weeks since I got the call that I was out of PGN. There are quite a few steps between getting out of PGN and getting home. I just wish I knew which one of those steps I was on. If my agency called and said, "Andrew will be home on Sept. 10" (or any other random date), I would be better able to handle this, because then I would only be waiting; not waiting and wondering. I could PLAN--which is one of my favorite things to do. I'm trying to stay busy and not worry or obsess.
I thought that a lot of this adoption journey was about patience, but it's not. It's about Trust. Trusting that things will work out the way they are supposed to. Trusting that Andrew's lawyer and facilitator are doing everything they can to get him home. Trusting that birth mom will sign off for the fourth and final time. Trusting that the embassy has the paperwork they need and that they will move things forward.
Patience is a hard one for me. Trust is even harder.
At any minute, my agency could call and tell me that things are moving along and Andrew will be home soon and all of this anxiety will melt away. I don't want to waste what's left of my precious summer time and energy on purposeless anxiety.
Today, I will do something constructive and/or fun and trust that everything is going according to God's plan.